I am the Target Demographic for PowerWash Simulator

I know a lot of people are looking at GamePass thinking, “PowerWash Simulator? Who tf would play that?” Look no further – it’s me. I am playing it. I am one of those weirdos who enjoys a mindless game like this. Yeah, one time I tried Lawn Mower Simulator and it didn’t tickle my fancy, but PowerWash Simulator… that’s the good stuff.

Listen, don’t judge me. I’m a Millennial and PowerWash Simulator is the closest I’ll get to having a house and a pressure washer and… I like cleaning things, okay? If you ask my boyfriend, he’d probably have some quip about me needing to clean around the apartment more, but I digress (and I clean a lot so get off my back!). PowerWash Simulator is pretty straightforward. You get called to do jobs that range from cleaning a bike to washing down a fire station. It is pretty time consuming, but it is oh-so-satisfying watching the grime blast away.

The game has very random achievements that include things like cleaning specific objects before anything else, not using a scaffold, or blasting soccer balls around. While trying to clean a very tall tower without scaffolding was annoying, it was not as challenging as trying to get this stupid soccer ball over the lip of a wall, up onto a slide, and down the other side. The only way to move it is with the pressure washer and even though I thought it made sense to get underneath it to blast it up, you actually needed to blast the ball on top to get some air time.

Probably the most annoying thing about this game for me is a very “me” problem. We have a lot of Xboxes and I will shuffle back and forth between them depending on what I’m doing. I’ve never had a problem with this. Save, quit, quick resume, whatever. It just works. For some reason though, PowerWash Simulator is not good at this. There’s no “save” button for me to press and my data was not saving back and forth in real time. I’d start in one room and get to 50% and then hop on a different Xbox and find my game at 13%. I’d panic, go back to the other Xbox, but it was too late. 13% there too. Start over! AAAHH!!

If you think I didn’t also write “Fart” on someone’s fence, you don’t know me at all.

While you’re cleaning this nasty town up, you’ll be getting extremely important text messages about the backstory. Sometimes, you’re getting messages about the reason things are so messy, and other times, you’re getting messages from other people who want you to come help them too. Pay close attention to what these texts say. If you don’t read them, you might miss out on the key to finishing the level. Like, check out this really important text I got while cleaning the Shoe House.

I’m adding a caption in case you try to skip reading it. It says, “I’m going poop”.

Juusssttt kiddddiinnggg. I just like that message I got. Anyway, you’ll get paid to do these jobs and can use your money to buy new attachments, better pressure washers, and outfits. One thing I could not figure out was how to apply a stupid skin to my pressure washer. It is not intuitive at all so I had to Google it. For your convenience, here is a video of how to do it on the Xbox:

At the end of each level, you’ll get to watch a super fast video of you doing the job and it is also oddly satisfying. The further you get into the game, the more elaborate and complicated some of these areas become. I am not that far into it (I don’t think), I have not tried any “special jobs” yet, and I have not done any challenge mode things. There’s also apparently a co-op mode that I haven’t tried yet. It’s crazy that I haven’t yet – I mean, this game is insanely popular and lots of people want to wash walls, right?

Here’s another thing I’m really dumb for. Despite the fact that literally every time you boot up a level, the controls are displayed, I, in true gamer fashion, mashed buttons and never read it! Use the D-pad and save yourself some time. I will say I hate using the lock feature because I’m not coordinated for some reason and cannot control it. I much prefer just running back and forth waving my wand around like a maniac, but the ability to “see dirt” on a whim and keep the water running continuously are super clutch features.

I know I’m being sarcastic a lot here, but I do like this game. It’s a mindless game that you can easily lose track of time in. Make fun of me all you want, but PowerWash Simulator is oddly enjoyable. I like that I can see to what percent I have cleaned specific objects (although sometimes it is really hard to find what object you’re missing with just a tiny faint glow indicating the outlier when you select it) and I like watching something gross become pretty. Also, I liked randomly ruining this person’s day by blasting their soccer ball away down the street. Go play PowerWash Simulator – it’s free on GamePass!

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